im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
