Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
