I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize