David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
