so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
