why didn't you poke me back
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The power of my boobs compel you
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize