You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
