If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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