He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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