This is not my ceiling
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
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