either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
