Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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