i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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