your room smells of hookers.
And success
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
