New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
