i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
