guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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