Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
