He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
