And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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