it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
