No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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