WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The ass gains better be worth it
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