mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
