After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
