Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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