would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
