ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
