Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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