yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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