is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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