his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You're like the curious george of whores
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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