party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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