She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
