I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
