Me too!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
