I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
