She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
