Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
