it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize