All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
