weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it wasn't lemon gatorade
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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