I'm going to jail i love you
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
