Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
