Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He passed out mid-signature
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
