Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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