My first STD was from a foam party
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
