This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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