"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
