im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I'm really busy with my period
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