I can text with my tongue
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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