I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
