I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
