Christians are straight up FREAKS
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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