Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
