Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
