Where did you get a picture of my penis
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize