i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
