I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize