I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
