You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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