Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
