My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
