you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
