omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
