too bad you live with your parents still
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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