i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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