im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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