My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
