Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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