evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
